9.29.18 - Final thoughts of September

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As we usher in fall, life has suddenly gotten busy again. I signed up for Bible Study Fellowship and have class every Monday night. It feels a bit like being in college with a lecture, discussion, and daily homework, but so far its been an enriching experience. That's also one reason why it's been awhile since I've posted.

I'm having surgery on Wednesday, finally getting the tumor in my ear removed. As the day draws closer, I've been thinking a lot about the trials God places in our lives. It's been hard not to play the comparison game. To not look at the lives of those around me and tell him just how horrible it is to go through all of the things that have happened in the last five years.

I have a tendency to see all the bad things and forget all the good that has happened too--family, friends, a job that provides for my needs, the opportunity to write a book. I forget that I deserve much worse, and if Jesus had not died for me, I would spend an eternity paying for my sins. I want things on my terms, even though He knows what is best for me and when.

I'd be lying if I said it was easy, but I have seen over and over again how much better His plan is for my life than anything I could accomplish on my own. As I look back over this period of heartache, pain, growth and maturity, I have wondered, if I had the opportunity to go back and live through this all again knowing the outcome, would I do it?

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