Incandescence

Sometimes I find myself questioning a decision I made. It could have been something I decided five years ago, or 5 minutes ago. I'm sure no one else has ever done that.... I went for a walk today (first one post surgery, yay!). I like to use this time to reflect. Today was no different. As I thought over the past few months, everything I've gone through, there were a few things that I regretted. But as I started to spiral I remembered the most important part--I didn't make the decision lightly or without thought--it was something the Lord was telling me to do. And as gently today, I was reminded that if He was the one helping me make the decision, it was for my good. He doesn't do things to hurt us. Often, I think He is saving us from pain down the road. It is so easy, in hindsight, to forget the process of listening to the Lord, of praying and being obedient. It's easy to miss His still, small voice. Easy to live outside of His will because its e...

I know I talk a lot about trusting the Lord on here, but the older I get, the more I experience, the more I realize how transforming it has been in my life. The journey to being healthier has been one of frustration, lots of doctors visits (14 in the past six months), and trying not to stress about the cost of treatment. It has been a period of questioning, of trying to trust, of being thankful, because all things considered, it could have been so much worse. I'm excited to start getting healthy again. Last spring, for the first time ever, I wanted to run. I didn't push myself to do more than I felt I could manage, and after a week or two I was seeing a lot of improvement. But it felt like a losing battle. After June, I was having one, maybe two goods weeks every month, and the rest of the time I was somewhere between mostly-ok and miserable. In the past six or seven months, I felt like my life was on hold, waiting for those good days, scared to make commitments because I...