Conquering Fear of the Unknown

-
I could use some more sunshine and warmth 
right about now...but I guess I'll just have to satisfy
myself with pictures for now
I have an imagination that leads me down the path of worry more often than I care to admit. This week, as I prepare for surgery--which is on Friday, yikes!--there are a lot of unknowns. I do not have an official diagnosis yet, that is partly what the surgery is for. I have realized, more than ever, that I do not do good with unknowns. I'm the kind of person that overthinks any new experience, making it far more of an ordeal than it needs to be.

This week, I have been reminding myself that there is no point in worrying about a diagnosis that I have not even received yet. My mother's friend said something that really stuck with me: think of what you are afraid of and ask if Jesus will be there. The response: 'of course'.

So then why am I afraid?

Whether I come out with a clean bill of health, or find out that this problem will persist--and there is a chance that it will--I cannot worry about it. I'll "trust in the Lord with all my heart, and lean not on my own understanding." (Proverbs 3:5). That verse has carried me through some very difficult times in the past few months. It is a reminder that the Lord will give me the strength to continue no matter what the outcome.

Now more than ever, I am thankful for a God who gives peace, who is trustworthy, who is a place of refuge in times of need.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

On Silence

-
Image
After an impromptu trip to Seward yesterday with family, I decided to take a break from this gorgeous weather long enough to do a quick post. I haven't been sure what to write lately, there are always a few ideas floating around in my brain but nothing that seems good enough to tease out and write a full post about. I sat here looking at a blank screen, writing and re-writing paragraphs. I haven't been doing a good job lately of having quiet time to process, which is part of the reason I have not written lately. Nothing seemed to come out quite right today, so I decided to switch things up a bit and write some poetry instead. When the Lord seems silent, I am far from him When He tells me--'wait', I still ask--'why?' and question Him He is patient When I am not, Abounding in grace He never leaves me Or forsakes me When I stray, He is a rock amidst storms, My comfort, a place of peace
Read more

Finding Humor in Everyday Mishaps

-
Image
I love finding beauty in simple things during my walks For the sake of everyone's safety, I'm staying off the streets today. Ok, not really, but I did manage to drop a Tupperware of sweet potato casserole on the floor, somehow, it landed right-side-up, but it splashed a trajectory of mashed sweet potatoes in a five-foot path. I also tried to work on my story today, but my attention span is about five minutes long at the moment, which is why I'm blogging instead. Like many hobbies, its something to work on. A few years ago I used to sit down for eight hours at a time to write, so I know I can do it, I just have to work up to it. Kind of like running. I used to hate it, but this past month, I started again at the encouragement of my brother-in-law, who, while he likes to give me a hard time, really does have my best interest in mind. My goal was the Coast Guard fitness test standards, which he was working on as well. For me, it meant a 1.5 mile run in 15:36, 12 pu...
Read more

12.26.17 - Reflections

-
Image
Christmas always comes more quickly than I expect it to. This year was no different. And like (almost) every other Christmas in Alaska in the past five years, I ushered it in with a cold. I guess next year I need to go sunbathe on a warm, sunny beach. As I look back at the past year, and what God has done in my life, I would like to think there has been some growth. I've been stretched beyond where I am comfortable, felt pummeled as I've had health problems for the past six months, and wondered why He would take away good things in my life. But God is showing me so many ways that I can trust Him more and lean upon Him and not my own understanding. I have surgery scheduled for February. It's not anything life-threatening, and I can be thankful for that, but of all the infinite possibilities for 2018, that was certainly not something I expected.  But that is life.  The Lord has a way of throwing things at you that you didn't see coming. And they aren'...
Read more