Incandescence

I could use some more sunshine and warmth  right about now...but I guess I'll just have to satisfy myself with pictures for now I have an imagination that leads me down the path of worry more often than I care to admit. This week, as I prepare for surgery--which is on Friday, yikes!--there are a lot of unknowns. I do not have an official diagnosis yet, that is partly what the surgery is for. I have realized, more than ever, that I do not do good with unknowns. I'm the kind of person that overthinks any new experience, making it far more of an ordeal than it needs to be. This week, I have been reminding myself that there is no point in worrying about a diagnosis that I have not even received yet. My mother's friend said something that really stuck with me: think of what you are afraid of and ask if Jesus will be there. The response: 'of course'. So then why am I afraid? Whether I come out with a clean bill of health, or find out that this problem will...

I started January with a break from romance. I didn't miss the movies, the tv, even books. I had more time to spend on other, more fulfilling things. I've started reading When I Don't Desire God, How to Fight For Joy by John Piper. I'm only on chapter three but it is already encouraging and challenging. The past few days have been rough. I've talked a little bit about my health on here, I've mentioned that I have a surgery coming up. It's been hard not to be discouraged in the past few months during the process of figuring out what is wrong. As I lay curled up in pain this weekend, sobbing because I wasn't sure how much longer I could take the pain, the last thing I wanted to think about was joy. But it's so important. There are so many questions, so many prayers that the Lord has not answered yet. It's easy to get impatient and question the His timing when He isn't giving me what I want. This has been a season of learning patie...

Who else misses the color green? It's been so dreary here lately... Only a few more months to go! Happy new year! With a new year come resolutions. I don't usually do any because I typically last a week or two and end in guilt and defeat. This year, though, I have a couple of changes I want to make, and I think they are sustainable ones. I've been thinking a lot about beauty. About singleness. About contentment in a season of life I don't understand. This week I am taking a break from romance, whether in the medium of a movie, tv show, book, or song. Cutting those things out has forced me to find more meaningful content, things that will enrich my mind, not just entertain. My plan is to make this a more permanent change (although the music might be hard, I really miss my country playlist right now). Instead of reading fiction, this week I am reading a book that has been challenging but needed. One of the things that has most resonated with me so fa...